It’s taken me about two weeks to find the balls to write this post and so it’s worth a quick recap otherwise some of what follows won’t make sense.
In the previous post here I pretty much made the point that from a ‘technical’ standpoint I actually do know what I’m doing. There’s some actual evidence to back this up too 😉
So that post was really about giving myself a kick up the backside and focussing on making the effort required.
The big challenge occurred when (two weeks ago now) I went to put this into action and I’ll be honest people, I completely failed to make any progress.
I just couldn’t get myself into a point mentally where I was happy enough to place any trades. A quite rigorous beat up session then followed.
I told myself that I really like having the time to watch price and ‘connect’ with the market and of course working a job somewhat gets in the way… but that’s not really it.
That was just an excuse.
So it’s actually Rogue Traderette’s blog here which contains this priceless piece of wisdom that I ran into like a freight train. Ouch!
If you’re looking for trading to solve existing issues then you’re wrong…
Awww… crap… as eventually my brain managed to see the rest of the iceberg which was that I’ve always, always (i.e. my whole life) been looking for something outside of myself to ‘fix’ my life. Double Crap.
Here’s why this really sucks. This has applied to almost every significant decision I’ve made whether it’s to do with people, jobs, relationships or in this case trading.
Somehow I thought that something other than me, something external, could ‘fix’ me or ‘save’ my life. I’ve been looking an awfully long time.
How this relates to trading is that it’s psychologically almost impossible to trade if you’ve managed to attach that much emotional load to something over which you have absolutely no control whatsoever.
So what does this mean? Well obviously trading will not ‘fix’ my life so I shouldn’t attach so much importance to the outcome of an individual trade because to borrow that well worn phrase – ‘It’s the journey, not the destination’ and you know (I’m telling you) I’m very, very far from journey’s end.
An over-riding attachment to the outcome, linked to my previous perspective, means that taking trades is actually made way too difficult because I’m making a huge deal out of them. I’m completely failing to get out of my own way.
This is a huge mental boulder that I’m working around at the moment and it’s a biggie so might take a while.
However it might be the last one…
As you can tell – I’m an optimist! LOL 😉
BTW: Huge props to Jess (RogueTraderette) for the great humour, content and just general awesomeness of her blog. If you’re not subscribed there already then you should be! Arnie says ‘Do it NOW!’